clappamungus: (King Diamond)
I already did this in Faecesbook because, well, I'm lazy, and it was easier. But damn it, I keep saying I'm going to stay off that shitty enabling social network of doom, and I'll be damned if I don't at least half get that right. So here we are, with album art and a youtube clip for each (well, if I can find one - I'm not going through all the fucktardry of actually uploading tracks myself if they're not there).

This is by no means all the releases I listened to, and there were some that didn't make the lists but were close (as evidenced by the "almost-rans"). And yes, they were all metal. Because I'm a narrow-minded, elitist wanktard that way, obviously. (In all seriousness, I did listen to non-metal this year but not enough to make as comprehensive a list as the one below).

The list )

Well, that post took way too long for something that only a few people will even bother reading... ;P
clappamungus: (Lil' Johnny)
[livejournal.com profile] boh_thrashsody, [livejournal.com profile] saithkar and [livejournal.com profile] quoththecraven have all written some interesting and useful pieces on the clusterfuck known as this year's Australian federal election.

For my money, it's a bland, uninteresting and disappointing politician versus a complete and utter cunt. They're both playing the populist game and I want none of it.

Here's a Crikey piece which sums up my feelings on media coverage of this farce and pollsters and their stupidity. That's probably all I'm going to say about this election, apart from this: if Abbott gets in as PM, it will destroy any remaining respect I have for the electoral process. It will confirm that me and my kind (i.e. sane people) are far outnumbered by the cretinous unwashed bogan hordes who, for some reason, still have the right to breed and vote.

And I will seriously consider leaving the country. <===NOT A JOKE OR A HASTY PROCLAMATION.
clappamungus: (The Great Storkening of 2006!)
Due to recent emo, and general badness, I will attempt to counteract with pr0n.

Last night I picked up a secondhand Sony stereo from an eBay seller. I could have bought a swanky new freaking tiny one as is all the rage nowadays. But:

a) I wanted a tape deck. Yes, you bloody well heard me: a tape deck. New, they're as rare as hens' teeth, and usually of crappy quality. But I have tapes that I like to occasionally play;
b) I want something sizeable, for fuck's sake. I'm sick of this "smaller is better" attitude. I want something that is visually obtrusive. None of this "hide-it-in-a-corner-and-wonder-oh-my-what-large-sound-where-it-come-from???" crap; and
c) I wanted to set up our turntable that we got as a wedding present as well. I've had a pile o' vinyl sitting in a corner, and I keep adding to it, and it hasn't been played and it FELT RONERY. I could've set it up alongside one of those titchy ones, but it would've felt and looked weird.

So here we go:
EC-QOTL
Finally I can spin the black circle. I have missed playing vinyl so damn much. I'm telling you, "Phantom of the Opera" sounds so much better in original analogue than remastered digital.
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
...nor a devil. If such an entity did exist, he wouldn't allow His Unholy Genre to be abused in such a manner:

Behold: An industrial black/death (whatever the fuck that sounds like [no, I'm not going to the MySpace. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!]) one-man band whose lyrical themes are...Harry Potter.

Yes, that's right. A metal band about HARRY. FUCKING. POTTER.

Metal is truly dying a slow, painful death.
clappamungus: (Headbangin' skeleton)
As far as I'm concerned, these guys do black metal right (not the first track, "Incubus". That's a single recorded this year and, while it's good, is not a patch on the stuff down the list! And is also quite different stylistically).

Cold black metal mixed with actual riffs as well as a variety of drumming styles that aren't modern half-thrash beats nor endless blastbeats (though the latter certainly have their place and are used tastefully), and good production (i.e. not underdone nor overdone) . Amazing. Yes, boys and boyettes, it can be done. You don’t have to resort to your black metal album sounding like it was recorded in my anal cavity (though to be fair, the song I'm listening to now is actually more of the "recorded in my anal cavity" type of thing, but not as bad as some I've heard. And it's still fucking awesome songwriting).

I'm ordering their album now.
clappamungus: (Douse)
I've been thinking of doing a "Ten Worst Albums of 2009" rather than a "Ten Best" list, as I'm such a cheerful, happy person. Or I could do it alongside the "Ten Best"

Anyway, this album:
CV

is easily the worst, most pointless shit I've heard so far this year. This is even worse than the terrible, terrible lo-fi BM I've been subjected to, not to mention those annoying morons Blackguard.

I love prog, and I hate this.

Why? Many reasons. Because there's no flow; because the vocalist is worse than Hansi Kürsch at his most constipated and, alternately, weakest; because this hour and 11 minute atrocity is resplendent with ridiculous flowery and "quirky" keyboard noodling over boring, plodding single-note-muted detuned-to-buggery guitar riffs; and, horror of all horrors, because that FUCKING ANNOYING BINT Simone Simons lends guest vocals to a few songs, and in the process makes even the wimpy keys sound tuff.

Oh yeah, and because this is to "progressive" as a dog turd in a storm water drain during a flood is to "movement".

Gah. I'm off metal for at least a week because of this.

************************************************************************************************

In MUCH BETTER news, Left of Crazy has ANOTHER GIG! This time at The Noise Bar on 20 August. That's all I know about it so far. Now I'm getting really nervous...

Wow...

Jun. 29th, 2009 04:16 pm
clappamungus: (Headbangin' Skeleton)
OK, I stayed away from the band Dissection for so long, because they're always associated with that dreaded term "melodic" mixed in with "black" and "death" metal. I'm usually not a fan of black metal unless it's first wave or mixed with thrash or death metal (no, I never "got" Darkthrone, and continue to not do so), and I certainly can't stand bands like Dimmu Borgir and Old Man's Child who do the whole "melodic black metal" thing.

But now I'm listening to The Somberlain...

Holy. Fucking. Shit. This is amazing.

It's melodic, yes. But heavy, interesting, epic without trying hard so very hard to be so (take note, Cradle of Filth), and, above all, utterly, stunningly beautiful. Every riff, every note, every filthy vocal line: it all works so well. Melodic without having to rely on silly synths (yes, fuck you, Emperor) or generic riffs or poppy elements or commercial fuckery (Hey, In Flames? I hope you're fucking listening...oh, that's right, you like to suck. Ignore me). Even the acoustic pieces that act as linking interludes work marvellously, because, unlike bands such as Opeth, they don't do them to death. I especially liked "Into Infinite Obscurity", probably because of the little fuck-up on one of the notes that they must have heard during recording and while listening to the playback and yet kept in, because it makes the music a little more personal in a way. Melodic, yet still sounding cold, evil, misanthropic, and hateful; everything a BM album should be.

Where has this been all my life?? Why can't all melodic metal sound more like this??? Damn you, rock I've been living under.
clappamungus: (Douse)
Dear Waking The Cadaver,

Just. Fucking. Die.

You are a disgrace to humanity, on every level. Musically, morally, and in the name of sheer taste.

On a musical level - I decided not to listen to the tr00 metalheads and give you a chance. I regret even considering doing that. Your music is either abominably boring and slow or worse, abominably boring and too fast for your stoned arses to keep up with. Your excessive use of breakdowns would make a metalcore band angry. If I hear one more sustained, super-detuned chord again, I will perform sepukku. You have no idea how to craft a good riff and your "vocalist" is laughable. YOUR DRUMMER CANNOT KEEP TIME. PLAYING BLASTBEATS DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN THAT YOU ARE A GOOD DRUMMER, YOU CONTEMPTIBLE TARD.

In a taste/moral capacity - the only saving grave about your lyrics is that I cannot hear them because of that stupid cunt you call a vocalist pig squealing. The less that's said about tracks (I refuse to call them "songs") with titles like "Raped, Pillaged and Gutted", the better, you sick, twisted wastes of oxygen. At least when Cannibal Corpse does it, it's ironic.

I sincerely hope you pull too many bongs and have a horrendous "accident" somewhere in a New Jersey landfill.

Actually, fuck it, I'll spell it out for you - I hope you end up a victim of a deranged fan (okay, a more deranged fan, since I can't see how anybody with an ounce of sanity can like this crusty shit you call music) who wants to emulate your lyrical content on you. Yes, all of you.

Now I'm off to listen to some good death metal. You know, stuff that's actually well-written. Yes, you pitiful shitheads, it exists. See below.

No love, ever,
[livejournal.com profile] clappamungus

P.S. All fans of this excrement (br00tal scenesters, I'd imagine) - I wish upon you the same fate as I have outlined above for your heroes.
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
I've been irritated for the last week or so about mainstream music and its mediocrity, or, worse, when music that is utterly abysmal becomes mediocre by virtue of being popular.

With that in mind, all of a sudden tonight, out of nowhere, I got Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name" in my head. To my knowledge, I have not heard that song for months. It's the Dreaded, Infernal Earworm at work again, I suspect.

So, I get into my car tonight to go back to the lab to pick up something I should have already picked up when I was there earlier...and as I start Rusty, the radio also switches into life.

GUESS WHAT FUCKING SONG IS PLAYING???? It's like the bastards read my mind. Or the Dreaded, Infernal Earworm is psychic...or something.

Which is why I find myself here, waiting for things to download onto my USB, listening to grindcore in an attempt to get that fucking pathetic excuse for song out of my head.

It's not working...

No...still not working. Crap.

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