clappamungus: (Lil' Johnny)
[livejournal.com profile] boh_thrashsody, [livejournal.com profile] saithkar and [livejournal.com profile] quoththecraven have all written some interesting and useful pieces on the clusterfuck known as this year's Australian federal election.

For my money, it's a bland, uninteresting and disappointing politician versus a complete and utter cunt. They're both playing the populist game and I want none of it.

Here's a Crikey piece which sums up my feelings on media coverage of this farce and pollsters and their stupidity. That's probably all I'm going to say about this election, apart from this: if Abbott gets in as PM, it will destroy any remaining respect I have for the electoral process. It will confirm that me and my kind (i.e. sane people) are far outnumbered by the cretinous unwashed bogan hordes who, for some reason, still have the right to breed and vote.

And I will seriously consider leaving the country. <===NOT A JOKE OR A HASTY PROCLAMATION.
clappamungus: (The Great Storkening of 2006!)
Apparently it's going to be 20 degrees (C) today...

FINALLY. WINTER'S GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

I'm definitely leaving work early-ish today.

EDIT DAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIITTTTTT...

Photobucket

What this doesn't show is the FUCKING RAIN...

I suspect this would not have been as much of a shock had I actually looked at the forecast.
clappamungus: (Default)
As you all know, I've been performing Operation: Get In Early recently. I did hit a snag with this yesterday, and almost did today as well. However, apart from those little hiccups, it has gone relatively smoothly. I just need to start winding back my clock so I actually get to bed at a decent hour, to ensure that when I wake up before the sun's arisen I actually a) get out of bed rather than hitting "snooze"; and b) that I don't feel/look like this.

However, I am remembering what made public transport so shit, as [livejournal.com profile] vivienne_aster alluded to.

a) If you miss your good earlier train with few people on it, you end up sharing your personal space with other people's morning faces, not to mention their smelly armpits.

b) On that note, you sometimes run into *GAH* schoolchildren. On the outbound journey, my carriage was set upon by obnoxious, loud, freaking irritating teenagers. I overheard one sweet lass manage to fit the expression "like, oh-my-god" into her speech three times before she took a breath. I was jostled by oversized backpacks. I saw what passes for "fashionable haricuts" these days. Fucking hell, I hate emos. If the power of a screeching giggle is ever harnessed and used in the electrical grid, I could have collected enough in that 15 minute trip to power Australia for the next few generations.

This is a good reason for getting a vasectomy. If I ever spawn something like this, I'll drown myself in a bucket.

However, on a good note, I have been much more productive today. See? There's always a non-rant.
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
Dear everyone I'm trying to call,

WHY CAN'T YOU ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONES?????

Yours, in extreme frustration,
[livejournal.com profile] clappamungus
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
Why in the name of Satan's testicles on toast can't things just FUCKING WORK?????

Or, why can't things be intuitive?

I give up. I'm going to the pub.
clappamungus: (Emogency)
Dear Insomnia,

I hate you.

No love,
[livejournal.com profile] clappamungus


Dear mosquitoes,

I hate you even more than I hate Insomnia.

I hope the inherent evil in my blood chokes you, you vile little parasites.

Die horribly, you fucking bitches.

All the love in the world,
[livejournal.com profile] clappamungus

Bugger

Nov. 18th, 2008 11:00 pm
clappamungus: (Emogency)
There's a (presumably) cop helicopter circling outside. This is crap for a few reasons:

a) It means they're looking for someone dodgy. NEAR MY HOUSE. (and no, you smart-arses, it isn't me)

b) I can't put the dog out, because she'll get it into her head to bark like mad at the intruding helicopter, which MIGHT EVEN ATTRACT THE DODGY CHARACTER CLOSER TO THE HOUSE.

c) Because I can't put the dog out, I can't go to sleep yet. And let's face it - I know there's a dodgy character out there somewhere so I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

Gah.

Oh yeah - and I have hayfever something chronic. Double Gah.
clappamungus: (Lil' Johnny)
Photobucket
clappamungus: (Blackadder)
Our next dog shall be hairless.

And/or I'll have to shave Jezzy soon.
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
Dear Amazon,

Go and get fucked.

Love,
Me.

EDIT
Dear operators of every online seller ever,

Please contract an especially virulent strain of...herpes...and just fucking die.

Sincerely,
Me.
clappamungus: (Lab Rats)
(sung to the tune of Thin Lizzy's "Jailbreak")

This morning, I went to do something nice for the dog, and stepped in dog shit for my trouble.

IN MY UGG BOOT, WHICH MEANS IT'S DOUBLY DIFFICULT TO CLEAN.

Gah fuckit.

I can't really be cross at her, though, because she's looking up at me with those adorable dimwitted eyes of hers - in between driving me insane with her penchant for stealing random objects and attempting to chew them to shreds.

Oh yeah - we've figured out that, in addition to women with headscarves, she doesn't like fat people. I mean truly obese people like those who live a couple of doors down. Or people who limp.

Anyway, off to work and my no doubt crap day.
clappamungus: (Jesus)
Them damn foreigners are to blame for this, I tells ya!

And for the link-o-phobics )

Yes, all TROO BLOOO AUSSIES men and women who love this country. Take up arms against this ragtag hooligan mob who dare to say our flag is "offensive". Kick 'em out! The dirty darkies don't belong here, anyway! They're not TROO OSTRAAAAAYAN.

/sarcastic rant. I have nothing else to say. Well, except for this:

I thought that a news article, even in a tabloid-style internet news forum, was supposed to be presented in an impartial manner. Well, okay, I never really thought that, but it's a nice ideal to live up to.

ARGH!

Oct. 5th, 2008 10:03 am
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
GODDAMN DAYLIGHT SAVING!!!!
clappamungus: (Douse)
Screw you, Queensland.

Once again I visit your accursed shores, and once again I pick up some goddamned evil northern bug.

And yet again, you have deserved your place on my "To Nuke" list.

Disclaimer I'll pull you out first, [livejournal.com profile] insomnius
clappamungus: (Hug?)
Now I really know I'm home.

It's going to rain all fucking day, isn't it? So much for getting out of the house and not curling up in a little ball in front of the heater, Jezzy style.

Yeah, Queensland has Queenslanders. But at least they have some fucking sun, too.

Idiots

Aug. 4th, 2008 01:56 pm
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
I really hate the terms "kvlt" and "trve/tr00" when they're not used sarcastically or scornfully.

The fact that so many metalheads use them seriously as a badge of honour makes me want to strangle them with guitar strings.

Take your "80's thrash was the gr8est moosic evar and all else is crap!" mantra and shove it up your fucking arses, you goddamn morons.

GRARGH.

Jul. 21st, 2008 08:55 am
clappamungus: (Douse)
FUCK. THIS. CUNTING. RAIN. AND. COLD. DAMP. SHIT. MISERABLE. FUCKING. WEATHER.

Edit
Well, okay, someone up there must have heard me...because the sun's out...
clappamungus: (Blackadder)
Hey, other members of Left of Crazy.

I'm finally convinced - if these tards can get gigs, then we certainly can.

See them butcher Dream Theater:


Tear apart the legend that is Black Sabbath:


And then thoroughly piss all over the legacy of other metal greats:


The guitarist is pretty good, and the rhythm section is competent - but that vocalist is fucking horrible. Not only is she generally off-key and singing songs that don't suit her range; she has absolutely no stage presence whatsoever, and her delivery is shite. Really, really shite. Even Ozzy Osbourne at his most drug-fucked did a better job - nay, Ozzy Osbourne after years of being drug-fucked.
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
I've been irritated for the last week or so about mainstream music and its mediocrity, or, worse, when music that is utterly abysmal becomes mediocre by virtue of being popular.

With that in mind, all of a sudden tonight, out of nowhere, I got Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name" in my head. To my knowledge, I have not heard that song for months. It's the Dreaded, Infernal Earworm at work again, I suspect.

So, I get into my car tonight to go back to the lab to pick up something I should have already picked up when I was there earlier...and as I start Rusty, the radio also switches into life.

GUESS WHAT FUCKING SONG IS PLAYING???? It's like the bastards read my mind. Or the Dreaded, Infernal Earworm is psychic...or something.

Which is why I find myself here, waiting for things to download onto my USB, listening to grindcore in an attempt to get that fucking pathetic excuse for song out of my head.

It's not working...

No...still not working. Crap.
clappamungus: (Classic *head-desk*)
I HATE WRITING THESE FUCKING SOPs!!!!!!

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