The Homicidal Urges

Operation: Get In Early is off to a flying start. This morning, the alarm went off at 6.45 am. I only pressed snooze once. I didn't manage to get out of the house before 7.30 am, but I did get to work at 8.30 am. I even managed to not fume at the morons who somehow obtained a license. No, I did not manage to avoid them: seems like it's a 'round the clock thing for Fucktards On Roads. Tomorrow I should try for even earlier time.

And yes, I know people that are reading this who get up earlier than this on a regular basis are probably incredulous. Shut up. I'm not used to these early-morning shenanigans.

Now that I'm here though...I should clean up my desk. It's an absolute mess. Empty packets of...well, I suppose you'd call it food. Paper everywhere. I don't even know what half of it is. I'm probably going to get pulled up by the Neat Police soon. So I should do something about it.

...

Nah. I'll just snooze for a while on the keyboard.

Why in the name of Satan's testicles on toast can't things just FUCKING WORK?????

Or, why can't things be intuitive?

I give up. I'm going to the pub.

Today's been a bit of a write-off so far.

I took the day off so I could work on this review and take in my car for its complimentary service. Driving to Brighton through the city at 1.30 pm was about as fun as swallowing razor blades. I forgot that every fool and his canine companion come out and drive in the CBD at lunch time, most likely getting the canine companion to drive, judging by some of the driving performances I was subjected to. And again, after I'd cleared the CBD, they'd decided to close off two fucking lanes on Kingsway between the Yarra and Queens Parade, funneling everyone into the other lanes. I barely made it at 2 pm.

Well, I did make it, got Shiny inspected and washed. It is shiny again. At least until the next bird has a diarrhoea attack on it. Then made small talk with the nice girl who showed me back to the car (which I am no freaking good at, so I don't know why I even try), got in and drove back. The drive back was much more pleasant.

Anyway, the point of this post: I had Eva's computer with me so I could do some work in the dealership, and on the drive back, I put it on the front seat. Now, my new car has all these bells and whistles. It beeps at odd times, and most of the time I have no bloody idea what's going on. So, all of a sudden, over the loud strains of music, I hear this beeping, and I'm wondering, "Huh?" And then I see that the light warning that someone isn't wearing their seatbelt is flashing.

And I realise that the dumb fuck car has detected the weight of the computer in the front seat and thinks it's a person. NOT WEARING HIS/HER SEATBELT...OH NOEZ!

I'll never get used to these newfangled cars.

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Meanwhile, I'm getting no bloody work done. I think I'll take Jezzy for a walk. It'll probably be more productive.

Take that, you bunch of arrogant wankers.

I must remember to go to the Herald-Sun forums and gloat to the mutants. It'll be fun.

And to add to the hilarity, monkey boy decided to take matters into his own hands. Or shoulders. Actually, if I had been Symonds I would have done something worse - like strangle the dumb fuck.

That got my day to a good start. Now to go talk to my new employer. And then teaching...

Hm. Maybe this day won't be so good after all.