The Homicidal Urges

I already did this in Faecesbook because, well, I'm lazy, and it was easier. But damn it, I keep saying I'm going to stay off that shitty enabling social network of doom, and I'll be damned if I don't at least half get that right. So here we are, with album art and a youtube clip for each (well, if I can find one - I'm not going through all the fucktardry of actually uploading tracks myself if they're not there).

This is by no means all the releases I listened to, and there were some that didn't make the lists but were close (as evidenced by the "almost-rans"). And yes, they were all metal. Because I'm a narrow-minded, elitist wanktard that way, obviously. (In all seriousness, I did listen to non-metal this year but not enough to make as comprehensive a list as the one below).

( The list )

Well, that post took way too long for something that only a few people will even bother reading... ;P

OK, I stayed away from the band Dissection for so long, because they're always associated with that dreaded term "melodic" mixed in with "black" and "death" metal. I'm usually not a fan of black metal unless it's first wave or mixed with thrash or death metal (no, I never "got" Darkthrone, and continue to not do so), and I certainly can't stand bands like Dimmu Borgir and Old Man's Child who do the whole "melodic black metal" thing.

But now I'm listening to The Somberlain...

Holy. Fucking. Shit. This is amazing.

It's melodic, yes. But heavy, interesting, epic without trying hard so very hard to be so (take note, Cradle of Filth), and, above all, utterly, stunningly beautiful. Every riff, every note, every filthy vocal line: it all works so well. Melodic without having to rely on silly synths (yes, fuck you, Emperor) or generic riffs or poppy elements or commercial fuckery (Hey, In Flames? I hope you're fucking listening...oh, that's right, you like to suck. Ignore me). Even the acoustic pieces that act as linking interludes work marvellously, because, unlike bands such as Opeth, they don't do them to death. I especially liked "Into Infinite Obscurity", probably because of the little fuck-up on one of the notes that they must have heard during recording and while listening to the playback and yet kept in, because it makes the music a little more personal in a way. Melodic, yet still sounding cold, evil, misanthropic, and hateful; everything a BM album should be.

Where has this been all my life?? Why can't all melodic metal sound more like this??? Damn you, rock I've been living under.

Today, I drove to band practise in Hallam (for Lord Mouth, not Left of Crazy. Oh yeah, the metal band is now called Lord Mouth. I like it; blow me if you don't). Anyway, I made sure I got out of the house early. Early enough to swing by my local café and get a flat white, and yet still be able to drive into Hallam on time.

I forgot about Murphy's Law. Actually, no. I forgot about STUPID FUCKING ROAD WORKS/WORKERS OF FUCKING STUPID FESTERING IN A MASSIVE FUCKING CAULDRON OF GODDAMN STUPID...

As I pulled onto the freeway onramp just past Chadstone (big mall, for those of you not from Oz), what should have been relatively smooth sailing on the freeway was all of a sudden halted by a big fuck-off wall of traffic. Kinda like this:

I know it's not that easy to see the big line of traffic disappearing off into the horizon, but trust me, it's there. This photo was taken after I'd already been incrementally inching forward, in fits and starts, my clutch really not liking these little movements forward, for quite some time. The first time I've regretted buying a manual car...

And, of course, I couldn't back out of the freeway entrance. So I had to wait.

And wait.

And wait some fucking more.

This is on a Sunday morning, mind you. This is also after I made sure I would get to Hallam early.

I waited a hell of a long time, getting (as you can imagine) angrier and angrier by the passing nanosecond, as traffic inched forward and people ducked and weaved (or crept and crawled) into and out of lanes and refused to let other people in.

After about twenty minutes, I saw what was causing this ridiculous Sunday morning traffic jam:



They were funnelling THREE FOUR FUCKING LANES ON A FREEWAY INTO ONE. And you can tell on the sign that it's not done too many times, as the third contemptuous "NO LANE" sign has been added on rather amateurishly.

I could not believe it. Of all the goddamned bone-headed things to do. Why they couldn't close down two at the most, work on that bit of road, then close the other two off is utterly beyond me. It took all I had in me to not roll down my window as I passed the moronic road workers, all stereotypically lounging around on their bit of blocked-off bitumen, and yell a few choice words about them being over-unionised fucktarded cockspanks etc etc...

You know what made it even worse? After it was too late to do anything about, I turned on the radio and caught a traffic report, which helpfully informed me of this: "...traffic is banked up all along the Monash Freeway due to roadworks, so please choose an alternate route."

GAH...guess I'll be listening to traffic reports from now on.

Yeah, I'm still cranky about it. I'm an elephant. No, fuck that: I'm a hate camel. And my hate hump has been filled; should last me a long time.

Oh yeah, and of course I was ridiculously late for band practise. My plans are foiled YET AGAIN. I hate you, Murphy.

I just had lunch.

It was a souvlaki. With chips in it.

That's right, you didn't misread it. And yes, I knew there were to be chips served with the souvlaki, but I thought, according to the menu board, that they would be served alongside the souvlaki. Instead, they were in it.

Yes, I assure you, you are still reading correctly. THERE WERE BIG FAT SOGGY CHIPS in my pitabread souvlaki with lamb and garlic sauce. There might have been some lettuce and tomato in there as well, but I couldn't really detect them through the BIG FAT SOGGY CHIPS.

Goddamn that was good...

I'm feeling slightly better after that. Well, my state of mind is, but my stomach is rebelling.

I also got a brownie. I think I'm gonna save it for tomorrow. I don't think I'll be able to eat until then anyway.

This morning, instead of mooching around the house after dropping Eva off at Nth Melbourne station, I took Jezzy for a walk. She was absolutely ecstatic, as it's unusual for her to get a walk in the morning.

Anyway, after being down at the park for about a quarter of an hour, and her having had a fairly good run, I was about to take her home. But all of a sudden it was like a floodgate opened and a sea of labradors came flooding into the park. They were seeing-eye dogs in training, being supervised by three volunteers. The dogs were all young, all friendly, and all beautiful specimens of labrador. Seriously, about fifteen of them. Jezzy went nuts and had a great time. I almost died of teh cute.

I must go down there more often early in the morning. I actually feel much better for having been out of the house with the dog before skulking off to a day of drudgery at work. And the dog really needed it, as she's alone for most of the day and it's nice to break up her day with a fun morning and a walk in the evening.

To end on a slightly disturbing note, I have been reliably informed that there is such a thing as Fallout Boy fanfic. This unsettles me greatly. As I told my source, I shouldn't have been surprised. This does not stop me from being disturbed, though.