clappamungus | The Return of the RageinatorTM (Reply)

Dear U.S. Customs Officials in Buttfuck U.S.A. (aka, Charlotte, North Carolina, U.S.A),

I love the fact that I was kept in an office for over an hour with Guatemalans and couples who had adopted Guatemalan babies for no apparent reason, almost missing my connecting flight to New York. I also am heartily guffawing at the fact that you told nothing to my worried girlfriend, who had to sit in a corridor in your shitty little airport and wait for me, but then you wouldn't tell her what was going on or whether or not I'd be allowed to pass through into your venerated country.

I love the fact that you're so interested in what I am doing here, and what my job is, and what I plan to do after I return to Australia. Even thought it's none of your goddamned business if I happen to circumcise kittens wthout anaesthetic. And then you have the gall to tell me that it's law that I have to enter the U.S. with $200, even though this is stated nowhere and I've asked a U.S. citizen since then of the veracity of this, and he has also been confused. I also love the fact that there was not one word of explanation or apology as to why I had been detained. Thanks to you, we almost missed our flight. I suppose if that had happened, you would have done nothing to help us either. And all the while, while one of you chicken fuckers was asking me things I'd already been asked, I was staring at your ~~retard's~~ President's smiling mug hanging on the wall.

You have no idea how close I was to actually doing something that would have got me locked up and/or deported.

In short, I hope every single fucking one of you gets raped and mauled by a pack of rabid pitbulls. Slowly.

All my love,